Confide
by JeffersonianGirl2004
Summary: The word positive is burnt in the back of Lanie Parish's memory and her hand absent-mindedly is tending to rest atop the slight curve of her stomach. She was set on having this baby but what she wasn't sure of was how to tell and of her colleagues, especially the father.


_AN: I don't own Castle. If I did I'd be having coffee with Stana and Nathan right now instead of writing an Author's Note on a Fanfiction. So I was inspired to write __this after watching Lanie with Cosmo during "The Good, the Bad and the Baby". That scene warmed my heart. I hope this is okay but I haven't experienced this stuff first hand so yeah. _

_Hope you enjoy!_

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**CHAPTER 1**

Lanie Parish lets out a deep breath as she edges closer and closer to the bathroom bench. The timer on her phone had chimed and it is time to check and see. Her fearful eyes glance over at the test that lies atop a bed of tissues. She moves nearer and nearer and with each step her breathing becomes rushed. Her long brown arm reaches forward and she scoops up the test. Bringing it closer to get a better look she peers at the results. In the small text space the test reads one single word. Pregnant. She just stares lost for what to do or say. Sometimes these things are wrong but this was number nine; nine couldn't be incorrect could they? She rubs her backhand over her forehead and groans exasperatedly. What was she to do?

She moves through her bedroom as though she was on autopilot. She removes her pink t-shirt and flannelette pyjama bottoms and replaces them with a pair of dark jeans and an aqua blouse. As she makes up her face slowly, one brush of mascara at a time, she sees the test yet again. It was as though the small plastic thing was glaring at her. She quickly moves her arm and rips a tissue from the box. She bundles it up and discards it along with the other eight. It wishes if she discards them all they will all disappear.

Her trip to the morgue is through a taxi ride. As she rides in the back seat of the yellow cab she glances out into the street. People dash past, businessmen and women along with the homeless. The rich and poor walk along side by side without making eye contact even once. The ME then watches as a young woman runs along the road chasing after someone. She averts her glance forward and sees a young boy running before the woman. As she watches who she thought was his mother scoop up the son her hand absentmindedly slides onto her flat stomach. She turns away from the laughing pair and glances forward. Memories suddenly flood her mind. She sees children running along in front of their parents, she sees the time her team had cared for a young infant, Cosmo or something and she sees Castle hugging Alexis. With each memory one thing becomes more and more certain, she is going to keep this baby.

Upon arrival she is whisked off to a crime scene. She steps forward one foot after the other. She walks past Beckett, Castle, Ryan and Espo, as she makes her way to the body. She bends her knees and glances down at the discarded remains. They were obviously female. At that moment the smell wafts up her nose and she can't bear it. She turns around so her back faces the remains and covers her mouth with her hand. She coughs a few times and she realises that it is only to get worse from here on out.

"Lanie are you alright? Lanie?" She looks up to see Katherine Beckett, a detective for the NYPD, rushing towards her.

After breathing in and out a few deep breathes she nods at the woman with a quick but forced smile. "Yeah girl this one just smells worse then the usual ones. It's all cool." Her hand forms the common thumbs up symbol as she nods at the detective.

"As long as you're sure. I've never in all my years seen you react like that to a body Lanie. Are you sick or somethin'?"

"I'm sure girl I'm fine." Her tone is harsher this time but the last thing she needs is opening up about something like this even with someone like Beckett.

X-X-X-X

Dr Parish's finger wavers over her contact list. She knows she has to go see her doctor about this. She needs to know just how pregnant she is and she needs to know just how accurate those nine tests were. A few breaths come and go before she plucks up the courage and presses down on the button. The phone begins ringing as she holds it up to her ear. She hears the voice of the doctor's receptionist speak to her and she replies to each of the questions. She has an appointment for later that day. She knows that that will finally get her some answers but she doesn't know of whether those will be for better or for worse.

Her appointment is at four-thirty and time seems to be going by really slowly. With another quick glance at the clock on her desk at the morgue the woman groans, four o' clock on the dot. She is to leave and catch a cab at four fifteen so she'll be there on time but her craving for the truth seems to be making the minutes turn to hours. Finally the clock ticks to the time and she scoops up her briefcase. As she tucks it under her arm she feels her throat burn with anticipation.

Eventually her weary legs lead her into the doctor's office. She looks towards the doctor and her open eyes at met with the eyes of a caring middle-aged man. He holds out his hand for her to shake and she takes his offer. As she sits before him she hears him speak for the first time since she entered the office.

"Hello you must be Lanie Parish, I'm Doctor Luke Thompson." His eyes don't waver from hers as he speaks.

"Yes I'm Lanie Parish…" She trails off unsure of what to say next.

"And Lanie what are you here for? Anything I can do to help you?"

She shakes her head and begins to look away but the feeling of Dr Thompson's brown eyes blaring into the side of her head forces her to turn back. "Well I need to have a test."

"What type of test?"

"A pregnancy test. I took a few myself but I need an expert's test results too just in case my tests were incorrect."

The doctor nods slowly. "Okay so what did your results say?"

"Positive." It feels weird letting that word roll off of her tongue. Every time she had used or heard the word positive in the past it had reminded her of pregnancies and today it really was about them.

"Okay," he nods again, Lanie gathers that they must love moving their heads up and down like psychologists, "I'll give you this bottle and you have to just go to the bathrooms out there and fill it with a urine sample."

She takes a small clear bottle with a yellow lid from the doctor. She knows that the sample this small bottle would soon hold could outline her future. Even just the thought of that makes her cringe.

X-X-X-X

"Positive, Ms Parish I'm telling you that you are pregnant." The doctor speaks slowly as he gazes over some test results "Six weeks to be precise."

The medical examiner squeezes her eyes shut she as she pulls her legs up to her chest and wraps her arms around them. She knows that nine tests couldn't be incorrect. The chance of that is so slight.

"So you have a few choices," Dr Thompson begins slowly as he sits down on the chair behind his desk "you can either have this baby or you can terminate this pregnancy."

Lanie didn't need to think this through at all; she knew what she was to do. "I'm keeping it, I brought it into the world and I think it is my job to love it." She doesn't make eye contact with the other man once.

"Okay I think I prefer that choice myself as well. Remember if you need anything just come in."

Lanie rises from her chair ready to leave when something slips from between her lips. "Can you please not let anyone else find out about this."

The doctor nods yet again, "Don't worry Ms Parish, I am a big believer in patient confidentiality, I won't let this get to anyone."

She nods and walks from the office. As she leaves she slowly pulls the door closed. It is as though she is closing the door on one chapter in her life and opening the door to the next.

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_AN: So it was a bit short but I was just getting things started. Next chapter should be longer, talk about who the daddy is and maybe have a bit of Caskett fluffiness. Third person rocks because I can focus on everyone in a single story._

_Please review because I want to know your thoughts. More reviews quicker the next chapter! I also will need gender, name and other suggestions as this story unfolds so make sure you add your requests/suggestions to your review. _

**_Please Review!_**


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